corpus_shuffled.csv

 After hearing that piece, I decided to read the lyrics.  When I read the 1984 themed-lyrics and listened to the album once again, I realized that ""Resistence"" is a Rock Opera.  All of the songs align together in a common Totalitarian-Theme: when he meets the woman he is sneaking around with before the thought police can find them, the Exogenesis Cycle wondering how and when will this world end, ""the United States of Euroasia"" with its a ""Queen-like"" anthem in it with a Chopin Nocturne with bombs going off in the background. It is incredible, and even more incredible that Matthew Bellamy is playing the classical piano like a maestro, sticks a Saint Saens excerpt in the middle of ""I belong to you"", and can sing an impressive Falsetto in ""Exogenis Part I.""  If you listen to the album as a whole, it will tell you a story, and you realize that you can't just listen to one song.
 
 This album is not like any Radiohead that i have ever heard, and in fact that is why I didn't like Muse back around 1999-2000 when they were first coming out. I thought that they were trying to mimic Radiohead, and being a Rabbid Radiohead fan that I am, I didn't want to buy any of their albums.  That is until I heard the song Supermassive Black Hole.  This album doesn't sound like Radiohead, and I think this is Muse's new voice in the music world; it shows they are serious musicians and ready to come into their own.  Screw it if it isn't radio-friendly.  If that's what you care about then don't buy this cd because it is not just a Fluff listen while you are doing something else.
 
 Listen to this album and read the lyrics. I love 1984, and this is about the best rendition or homage I have heard or seen.  Crack open a bottle of wine, take out your headphones, light a candle and lay back and enjoy. I haven't stopped"
0,4_17_R88ECHZZKQRME.txt,5.0,Huge capacity and excellent value,"July 5, 2007",Paul Laing,Transcend 8 GB Class 6 SDHC Flash Memory Card TS8GSDHC6 (Electronics),"I wanted to take advantage of the video capability on the Canon SD800IS digital camera and required a large memory card. Given the way memory requirements increase over time I opted for the largest available. I also wanted a fast memory write speed. The Transcend 8Gb SDHC Class 6 card was the best value available.
 So far this card has worked flawlessly."
0,9_19_R1KCB1MMDJW4LB.txt,1.0,Plays tracks in alphanumeric order,"October 29, 2003",A Customer,Creative Labs NOMAD MuVo NX 128 MB Flash Drive MP3 Player (Electronics),"This is a great MP3/WMA player with one glaring deficiency: It insists on playing the songs in alphanumerical order by track title. The manual states this, customer support verified it and I couldn't find a reasonable work-around, so it went back. Sure you can manually move from one song to another as they play, but if you want to load an entire CD and listen to the songs in the order in which you're accustomed, it won't do it without interaction. In my opinion, this is a colossal design flaw. The original MuVo 64 and 128 will play the tracks in the order which you load them but not this one. If that won't bother you, the MuVo NX is the one to get."
1,19_14_R31PWLHU285R9D.txt,2.0,Blatant false advertising,24 Dec 2007,Flabbergasted,"Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point, Black (Office Product)","I ordered 300 of these individually gift wrapped for a client's wedding and was horrified to learn 14 minutes before the reception that this is NOT REAL CRYSTAL!!!  From an arms length and after 3 stoli martinis this could easily pass for Ireland's finest leaded or even a clear quartz from the mines of Malay but one look under the jewelers glass and it was immediately apparent that Bic was using low grade plastique.  I will give their craftsmen due credit for their obvious mastery with the grinding and polishing wheels, as i've rarely encountered such precision in a ""cigarette cut"" piece.  But crystal?  Snort! I THINK NOT!"
0,21_16_R108D5QTY61ZH4.txt,5.0,THE BEST OF THE BEST,"June 8, 2007",Make It So,Farouk CHI 1 Inch Ceramic Flat Hairstyling Iron (Health and Beauty),"For months I made 'do' with my $40 straightener trying to convince myself that it would be enough. I would see other women with perfect hair to find out they used a CHI. Everyone would say ""A C-H-I...! ooohhhh Like it was something to worship. Well gals...It is the Mercedes Benz of hair straighteners. I am chanting CHI! CHI! CHI! everywhere I go.
 I have thick, wavy hair and it only took about 10 mins to iron it flat. It feels silky smooth too! and is so shiny! My $40 cheapie made it feel like straw.
 I know the high price may stop many women from buying it.
 But I swear, you HAVE to buy a CHI, if you are as fussy about your hair as I am, its a dream come true.
 Finally; we puffy, thick and wavy haired gals can have it all. 
 It heats up fast and does not burn or singe the hair at all..but rather glides through my hair. I didn't experiencing it being overly hot either. Just perfect in every way."
1,38_1_R3J1JLZOHMBCXY.txt,4.0,Want to become a Dictator?  You need a Donk.,"December 20, 2006",ejwitt,JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank,"Have you ever wanted to be the dictator of an obscure country whose name you can't pronounce, only to realize you don't have the appropriate armaments in your suburban garage to give you that tactical advantage?  Let's face it: installing that leaf blower and shop vac in the wife's SUV just isn't going to get the job done and will probably only lead to ridicule.
 
 Now, thanks to the good people at NAO Design, you have access to a device that can make your third-world conquests a reality.  Granted, the Donk won't go head-to-head with a modern Abrams M1A2 fitted with the Urban Survival Kit upgrade, but in field tests against Russian-made T-72s, it performed admirably.  Survivability was significantly improved with the installation of depleted uranium armor in key areas. The addition of a German-designed Rheinmetall AG 120 mm smoothbore gun made it possible to take out adversaries from nearly 4000 meters away.
 
 Pros: The stock 6HP Tecumseh engine and drive train can be retrofitted fairly easily with an electric motor drive system powered by a surplus Russian-built Strontium-90 Radioisotope Thermoelectric Generator (RTG).  That change out pushed the top speed of my Donk to over 92 MPH (though I did also have to upgrade to ""R"" speed rated all-season tires).  Plus, with a half-life of 28.8 years, I'll be ready for a new cruiser by the time the fuel is no longer viable.
 
 The soundtrack to Top Gun totally rocks on the 400 watt sound system as I charge into battle!  Sometimes I also like to play it on the external PA system to confuse and disorient the enemy.
 
 Cons: Cup holders are too small for the 64oz mega-size slurpees I like to take into combat zones.  No trip odometer.  A digital dashboard display for the outside temperature would be nice, as would dual-zone climate control.  Oh, and the glovebox is too small for my gas mask."
1,47_17_RJKN10QT2VSTW.txt,1.0,Worse than can be easily imagined.,"October 29, 2002",A Customer,Spaceballs (DVD),"Putting this movie in your player can clear a room faster than a Fire Alarm. It was apparent when HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART I was released that Mel Brooks had blown his comedic gift, but I doubt anyone expected the man behind the truly great YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN to bottom out as completely as he did here. Witless and torturously unfunny, with nearly every tired, corny gag ponderously telegraphed minutes in advance, (It's...the...Statue...of...Liberty...                                                                 ""Planet...Of...the...Apes""...joke...coming...up...in...a...moment).There's really no way for me to convey how unremittingly awful SPACEBALLS is. When I saw it in the theater, I can recall only two genuine laughs in the entire picture: The never-endingly long spaceship that just keeps on passing by at the beginning, and the ""One Froggy Evening"" / Looney Tunes reference during the ALIEN parody. I believe I spent the rest of the time retching.You'd be better off watching your toenails grow than punishing yourself by sitting through this mess."
1,10_8_R1JOCLVNZBZTW0.txt,1.0,IF YOU LOVE DICK MORRIS,"February 21, 2009","trenwell ""trenwe11""",Biography - Bill Clinton (DVD),"This dvd is great if you think that Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky were the highlights of the Clinton administration.  There is almost no useful history in this at all.  It borders on tabloid journalism under the guise of a respectable documentary.  Dick Morris is interviewed quite a lot throughout this one."
0,39_5_RF6KKEJQU02G0.txt,5.0,Political Correctness Quotient = Zero,"May 5, 2010","Cynthia ""Andante Cantabile""",Sh*t My Dad Says (Hardcover),"To echo what others have said this book is hilarious.  It's also sweet and touching.  Justin's dad is a gruff Vietnam vet, retired research doctor who is honest to a fault.  He's someone who knows himself and has the courage and a burning need to speak his mind.  He also loves his family to distraction.  Justin's dad is Jewish and his mom a quiet, loving Catholic and though their child rearing approaches seem as different as their religions they make a good parenting team.  
 
 Here are a few quotes which are NOT the funniest in the book but one's that are relatively lacking in four letter words:
 
 On Getting an Internship at Quentin Tarantino's Production Company:
 
 ""That is one ugly son of a `gun'.....Oh, yeah, no congratulations.  If you see him, try not to stare at his face if you've eaten anything.""
 
 After Justin moves out""
 
 ""You just barge in and take whatever you want, whenever you want it.  It's like you're the ********* SS I'm living in ******* Nazi Germany....""
 
 At the End of the Day, at Least You a Have a Family:
 
 ""So, there you go.  Your mother thinks you're handsome.  This should be an exciting day for you.""
 
 On a hypothesized life of crime:
 
 ""You always got us.  We're family.  We ain't going anywhere.  Unless you go on a ******* killing spree or something.""
 
 ""I would still love you Justy.  I would just want to know why you did it,"" my mom said earnestly.
 
 All these quotes can seem a bit over the top when you read them out of context but they never come across as glib or hate filled.....just honest.  Justin was the youngest of three sons and the last chapter of the book is the story of one of Justin's love affairs gone awry and his dad comforting by telling the story of his first wife's life and death.  The best thing about this book, besides the humor of course, is the emotional honestly."
0,51_1_R19654PDC4RXR1.txt,5.0,Best face lotion out there... Period.,"July 24, 2006",L. F. Bretts,"Nivea for Men Face Care Oil Control Lotion, Normal to Oily Skin, 2.5-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 4) (Health and Beauty)","If you are looking for a lotion that won't leave your face feeling greasy, then look no further. It is THE best out there."
1,276426_8_RG66D9Y4OS8BX.txt,1.0,AN EXCELLENT TESTAMENT TO THE PITIABLE STATE OF THE AMERICAN INTELLECT,"January 2, 2010","F. Smathers ""GREMMIE69""",Going Rogue: An American Life (Hardcover),"The spunky gal who first appeared on the scene as a simple-minded but endearing propaganda puppet for global corporate policy has now graduated to become the poster girl for those suffering from terminal stupidity.  The description of the book states that the book was ghostwritten (for SP fans - ""ghostwritten"" means she didn't write it herself - someone else wrote it for her).  In view of this fact, it's interesting to see that customer reviews praise the book by saying ""oh now that I've read the book, I know the real Sarah!""  Like George W. Bush, Sarah Palin is incapable of writing a book, and it's quite possible that, like George W. Bush, she has difficulty reading books. 
 The conservative media (especially Fox News) has created a virtual Disneyland for those who can't handle reality to immerse themselves in.  And Sarah Palin is the princess in that Right Wing castle, who rose from humbleness to prominence by memorizing speeches written by her handlers from the RNC.  Why anyone would actually pay money to read this poorly written fiction is beyond belief.  If you really want to read a book by a prominent fascist, read Mein Kampf, it's well written and explains the mythos of the white master race much better than Sarah does."
0,12_11_R2Y9CP5D19BO8Y.txt,5.0,Powerful and Beautiful,"January 9, 2010","D. Clawson ""Mom of 2""","Hamilton Beach 65110 Eclectrics All-Metal Retro Drink Mixer, Sterling (Kitchen)","Powerful and beautiful. This is a great addition to any kitchen. I was introduced to mixers like this when I worked in a restaurant. I wanted professional icecream shakes in the comfort of my own home and this mixer really delivers. It came with a reciepe book for perfect shakes and other things. I recommend the PBC Shake (Peanut Butter and Chocolate - mmmmmmm, it's yummy!) Easy to use, easy to clean. A real joy to have when entertaining. I would definately make this purchase again."
0,15_17_R33AU15X4OIMSO.txt,5.0,Legion,"July 4, 2010",luz a cabrera-perez,Legion (DVD),"I was surprised how good the movie was. It had everything you would expect from a horror film, but it also had alot of little messages that I found surprising.  Good stuff"
0,39_19_R2XT7SQXSVMP2D.txt,5.0,A tear jerker of a book,"June 18, 2010",D. Suzuki,Promises to Keep: A Novel (Hardcover),"I've only read a couple books by Jane Green and was not impressed but this book was unbelievably good!  Granted I am nearly 9 months pregnant and have a toddler of my own but this book had me bawling.  I was so invested in the characters and what happened to each that I almost couldn't finish the book out of fear of what would happen.  Steff is your typical chick lit, flighty character and you can pretty much predict what would happen to her in the end.  Still the story was written in such a way that it will keep you engaged and hoping for a happy ending for all of the main characters.  Callie's husband at first had me guessing if he was going to go the route of the busy working husband who would turn out to be a cheater or a loving husband that would be there no matter what.
 
 The other nice thing about this book was each chapter opens up with a recipe.  Some of them sounded so tasty I may just have to try them out myself.  Really there wasn't anything I actively disliked about this story.  The only slightly negative thing I can say is much of the story is predictable but I find that true of all chick lit books.  This is definitely a must read book but have a few tissues on hand."
0,37_11_R1XIECGT5CAKAM.txt,1.0,Atrocious,"February 12, 2008","Michael Kerner ""Michael Kerner""",Hottie & the Nottie (DVD),"Out of all the movies that I've ever seen this past year, this is definitely one of the worst and most pathetic movies I've ever felt like I wanted to go away. Paris Hilton gives a very unconvincing performance as she tries to do whatever it takes to make her friend a better attractive woman to men. Sadly, for someone who really never learned her lessons and lied about giving back to others on Larry King Live, Paris Hilton showed no effort of changing her ways, and also showed she really doesn't have the drive to act. Not even die hard Paris Hilton fans would even come close to being interested in this movie.
 
 Story: F
 
 Overall: F-"
1,1_16_R1J4YE0BICPB1C.txt,2.0,This shirt got me shot.,"May 14, 2009","ClarkstonCracker ""Amazon has deleted over 200 of my reviews :(""",The Mountain Men's Breakthrough Wolf Short Sleeve Tee (Apparel),"I jumped out of the shower and had to decide between my ripped up AC/DC concert shirt from 1974, or my Breakthrough wolf t-shirt.  These were the only two that didn't reek of BO, and I was going to the bar, so I had to look my best so of course I grabbed the wolf tee. 
 
 So I'm in the bar, having a good time, and I had to pee like a race horse.  I go into the bathroom, and doing my business.  As I turn to walk out, I sneezed extremely loud. This scared the hell out of the guy washing his hands in front of me.  As he went to look at me, he saw my breakthrough wolf shirt, and actually thought he was being attacked by a real wolf! he immediately pulled out a pistol and shot me right in my chest. 
 
 Me and the guy who shot me now joke about what happened, but I'm pretty sure that the designer of this t-shirt should make it a little less real looking as not to cause hunters or scared bar patrons to whip out rifles or pistols to disable the threat of the attacking wolf."
1,45_5_R1V1Q34RG8BFYO.txt,1.0,Squirrel's love 'em!,"November 1, 2009",J. Weber,Full Bar (Health and Beauty),"Make no mistake, this is a candy bar masquarading as a nutrition bar.  With whopping 9 grams of sugar ( 45 calories ) almost 1/3 of the calories in total, you'll have a much more pleasant experience having a small candy bar.  I found the taste and texture so awful I had to spit it out.  To the delight of my squirrel friends, I tossed the rest of the bar outside where they promptly gobbled it up.  This is a gimmick created by this Dr. for cash purposes.  If he's such a great diet Dr., why doesn't he recommend you eat plain nuts?  An apple?  A yogurt?  There is nothing magical about this bar - eat ANYTHING that contains 170 calories with a glass of water a half hour before your meal and you'll probably be just as full."
1,21_8_R3M8X3OG0JU5Q.txt,5.0,"How I met the love of my life, in summary.",25 Dec 2007,"John Mcnichol ""Anomie""","Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point, Black (Office Product)","It was a bright day in November. The frost shone golden in the morning sun as the newly settled snow hid the grey sparkle of the street.
 
 I had just climbed out of the shower, and was about to prepare breakfast when a knock came from my front door. I was greeted by a handful of letters and a flippant postal worker, asking me to sign for a parcel. I had fallen in love. The slim, smooth body, that awkward fitting cap that set off the perfect angles, the way I held no sway over their interest... It was literally love at first sight. The second and third were indulgences. Then came lust. I could barely contain myself as I grabbed them, and wrapped myself around them. Feeling their touch on my skin was almost instantly overpowering, I couldn't help but stare, my eyes were locked.
 The postal worker just stared, oblivious, but I knew I had met my love. The smooth ink flowed from the end of the pen, so effortlessly, so carefree and wild, as my lover screamed my name across the page. 
 
 ""Weirdo..."" he grunted, and he snatched my love and retreated to his van. I was speechless, this idiot was about to ruin what had only just blossomed. Speechless... but not actionless. With one smooth motion, fuelled by adrenaline and love, I swung from my front porch onto the snow of my driveway, and flung myself at the intruder. I missed of course, my body in terrible shape from years of MMO abuse I fell metres short of my target, as he spun around at the sound and began to laugh.
 
 ""Please... Don't do this to me"" I croaked, ""I can't live without her.""
 
 He turned his back, climbed into the van, and drove away with my calligrapical angel. I cried, and my tears froze on the ground, as hard as my heart.
 
 Would recommend this product to a friend."
1,49_4_R3FE59I3E8QX8W.txt,5.0,My niece loves this toy.,"February 19, 2010","Brian Nallick ""METALMANMN""",Smoking Baby (Toy),"What an awesome idea for a childs toy.
 I bought one for my niece, wanting to instill the proper values in her starting at a young age.
 This baby doesn't cry, doesn't eat.
 All it wants is a smoke.
 And what's wrong with that?
 By the time I get home from another hellish day at the office that's all I want.
 Why not start early and learn those addictive coping habits before they get old enough to rebel.
 Now, if the company can just come out with one more baby.
 The others are coke baby, this one comes with a straw and a mirror.
 Heroin baby, comes with it's own set of syringes.
 And of course weed baby that comes with a huge blunt.
 The only one we're missing is crack/meth baby that comes with it's own pipes and is missing half it's head and an eye.
 Now THAT is one toy my niece cannot go without.
 Anyway....the smoking baby is fun, educational, and a must have.
 And in case you really are that stupid, yes this review is a joke.
 Lighten up.
 Or in this case....light up. :)"
0,30_14_ROXP336WI15T9.txt,3.0,Nice,"February 10, 2009",C. G. Young,"Bissell Little Green Multi-Purpose Compact Earth-Friendly Deep Cleaner, 1400-7 (Kitchen)","Given the rave reviews, I had expected a bit more out of this product. My carpet is light gray, so just about everything shows. It does clean up most spots with a varying degree of repeated applications, but there are those that it just doesn't have much of an effect on.  (My cats have a tendency to cough up some hairballs that come with food stains--salmon is especially tenacious.  One of them somehow manages to get the hairball-prevention goop from her paw onto the carpet in small amounts.  Surprisingly, the cleaner does quite well in getting those up when they do not respond to the Oxy Deep spray method.) I do like that I can clean smaller high traffic areas, such as the transition areas from the carpet to the tiled rooms (kitchen, bathroom) to help keep them fresh.  I have purchased a different cleaning solution, supposedly of a higher cleaning ability, so perhaps that will remedy those spots that are less responsive to the sample that came with the unit.
 
 It's easy to use and clean and fairly portable."
0,23_6_RE7H9EZD0YZ3X.txt,5.0,Clarity For The Confused!,"October 5, 2009",S. Hochstetler,Mini DVI Male to HDMI Female Video Adapter Cable,"Ok, there seems to be some confusion as to what this product will do over the mini-dvi to VGA adapter that Apple sells, so I hope I can shed some light on the matter. The mini-dvi to VGA allows you to display your computer monitor on your television screen with resolutions that your COMPUTER MONITOR is capable of. This is very limiting as most TVs will not support the higher resolutions of the monitor, leaving you with little better than 800x600. In comes the mini-dvi to HDMI adapter, which allows you to display your computer monitor on your television, but the real magic is in the resolutions you are now given. The resolutions are HDTV compatible, allowing for HD viewing( I view mine in 720p). If you're looking for a quick answer, this product is much better than any mini-dvi to VGA that is out, simply for the fact that your resolution will be higher on the TV, resulting in a clearer picture and much more readable text."
1,31_9_R1GE9UI3OWCA8M.txt,1.0,"Listening to this ""Hurt"" me!","November 8, 2007","MomKKC ""momkkc""",The Sun Also Rises (Audio CD),"William Hurt cannot read.  At all.  The cadence, inflection, and emotion of Hurt's reading are inappropriate in almost every circumstance, and the accents he attempts are laughable.  I pity the first-time audio listener who might mistakenly pick up this lamentable reading and be turned off audiobooks altogether.  There should be a warning label, ""Danger, listening to William Hurt's reading of ""The Sun Also Rises"" is known to nauseate expectant listeners"".  
 
 On the brighter side, I have listened to many other wonderful readings of Hemingway's works including ""True at First Light"" read by Brian Dennehy and ""A Farewell to Arms"" read by John Slattery.  Do yourself a favor and listen to a different reader."
0,14_3_R19T1Z65YR0LWR.txt,1.0,DOESN'T CHOP...JUST MESSES,"May 5, 2009","Madeline ""Dog Lover""",Slap Chop (Kitchen),"Mine does not chop, it just trys to.  Won't chop through apple , garlic , onion.  The food gets caught up in the blades.  This is the first time I used it, but I'm looking for an easier one to chop with.  The chopped onion (which is why I bought it) comes out in big pieces and they are stuck in the blades,  I have to dig them out.  This is no fun!"
1,14_5_R2334YRUI2S8D1.txt,1.0,Weak and Bitter,"December 31, 2008",E. W. Harris,"Senseo Dark Roast Coffee, 18-Count Pods (Pack of 6) (Grocery)",terrible swill.  I can't belive this is from the company that WANTS to sell you their coffee maker.  Try the Millstone or if you can find it the Target brands instead.
1,30_12_R6HGUV6A4SMBK.txt,1.0,Wretched Series,"February 6, 2010","Bluesy200 ""Bluesy200""",Paranormal State: The Complete Season Three (DVD),"I love a good ghost series, but Paranormal State doesn't belong in that category: It is slapstick. It's an embarrassment.
 
 As another reviewer stated, the kiddie warriors in this series never really find anything. They just make a lot of scary oooo's and ahhhhh's and then they go home.
 
 And what happened to Chip the Psychic in this season? Did he fall on his head and become Chip the DumDum Clown? Hey Chip: Give it a rest. You're trying too hard. We can see that you are seriously studying the body language of the people you're talking to, looking for cues to see if you're hot or cold. You are not psychic: You are an actor...a hammy actor.
 
 And why do the warriors usually opt for the goofiest case studies they can find? Why do they opt for spirit-board types who probably charm snakes and speak ""in tongues"" when the camera crews are gone? It's madness.
 
 And there is a healthy dose of Christian propaganda in this show that is unacceptable. ""In the name of Jesus Christ"" is the most repeated line in this tiresome series. Make no mistake: This series is spiked with religious propaganda; Jews, atheists, Muslims, and all others, beware...only priests and their holy water can save you from the dark side.
 
 B-A-L-O-N-E-Y.
 
 Two thumbs down for this series. No, make it two thumbs down TIMES every student at Penn State who is embarrassed to have their school mentioned in each of these shows."
0,13_15_R1AQ3BOFAX25S.txt,5.0,30 Minutes from the Box to a Home Theater System,"December 27, 2007","David McCune ""self-deprecating and proud of it""","Philips AmbiSound Home Theater Sound Bar with Integrated 1080p-Upscaling DVD/MP3 Player, HTS8100/37 (Electronics)","And much of that 30 minutes was spent clearing out the old system.
 
 I purchased this to replace our old home theater system.  Our previous model, with its multiple speakers and tangle of wires, was a ""true"" 5.1 surround sound.  I have never been crazy about stringing up speaker wire, and the setup of our living room meant that it was bound to look unsightly.  I wanted this sound system to do 2 things: look nice and produce good sound, and it has delivered on both very well.
 
 The look is sleek.  The CD tray sits behind the front panel, which slides aside when opening (that got an ""oohhh"" from the kids).  The connecting wires were minimal.  The system draws its power from the sub-woofer, requiring a single outlet.  The weight of the main bar is probably less than 20 pounds, with the majority of the weight of the whole system in the sub-woofer, which rests of the floor ""at least 3 feet"" from the bar.  The bar rests easily on top of an entertainment center, but should not pose much problem to mount on a wall below a wall-mounted flat panel TV.  It accommodates HDTV and non-HDTV, can synch with the TV cable sound, has an MP3 jack, and has AM/FM radio receivers.
 
 As for the sound, I'd rate it quite good for the money.  The set-up includes a brief series of questions regarding the room layout relative to the sound bar.  I assume this calibrates it for a ""sweet spot"" where the sound most closely recreates a surround effect.  I'm not an audiophile, but I'd call it a ""surround lite"".  It gives the sound an impression of depth that is pleasing, and the bass is deep enough to make the THX test pattern enjoyable (my personal test of ""good enough"").  If you are an audio purist, this is probably not the system for you, but it was a real crowd-pleaser at our house for family movie night.  
 
 So, for an easy, eye pleasing setup and very good sound in an affordable package, I strongly recommend the Phillips AmbiSound system."
1,21_1_RKDNZHGSANSC4.txt,1.0,Ten Dollars and 40 Minutes I'll Never get Back,"January 6, 2010","Cory T. Shaeffer ""HockeyFanatic""",Animal (Audio CD),"As a former club DJ, I can personally say that this album is among the worst pop/dance albums I have ever heard. And I have literally heard thousands - from all over the world. I've been in this game a long time. And young Kesha has much, MUCH to learn. The lyrics are chock-full of drug and alcohol references, the vocals are auto-tune heavy, and the blips and blats of electronica that litter EVERY stinking track could have been put to better use.
 
 As a fellow reviewer mentioned earlier, the album lacks cohesion, as Kesha is unsure of herself at best. Lady Gaga, Cascada, and Kim Sozzi have better dance albums out right now WITHOUT all of the professional cooks who had their hands on this project....with Gaga it all boils down to her extreme confidence and exhuberance. She relies not on studio-enhanced vocals, name-dropping, and junior high school lyrics.
 
 One look at the song titles and it pretty much gives away the content of the album. THe lyrics are so ridiculous and pretentious that the listener cannot enjoy the beats and the melodies, which in certain cases are not that bad. The whole point of a dance-pop record is so the listener can dance away their troubles. These lyrics are so bizarre and unnerving at times that the focus is entirely on Kesha and her dirty party-girl image. Most people who buy dance records don't care about the vocalist. It's all about the mood and the beats.
 
 This album sounds like the songs were both written and performed by a 14 year old raver while she was in rehab or a mental facility. If I were forced to listen a few more times to this steaming pile of drivel, I think I would check myself into a facility. 1.5 stars."
0,44_3_R1GYUI87MILKAM.txt,5.0,PS3 HD upgrade,"May 29, 2010","Alzcove ""Alzcove""",PS3 320 GB Hard Drive Upgrade Kit (Accessory),Product arrived quickly and was just as advertised. installation was a snap. I would buy again if needed
1,20_5_R3Q1BK35LOZ29N.txt,5.0,DIY MST3000,"October 11, 2006",The Drew,Alone in the Dark (DVD),"This movie is awesome. After careful consideration, ive decided that no person could possibly make a movie THIS BAD unless that is their goal; and boy does Uwe Boll deliver. Everything is perfect: the dialogue, the cast, cinematography, music, sound effects, wow. Wrap these elements into an incoherent storyline and you have all the ingredients for an alcohol-fueled film party of epic proportions. A movie so bad it has to be seen to believed. MARCO!!!"
1,18_13_RPUNKIVBUJ332.txt,1.0,The Death of American Veracity and Insight,"February 16, 2010",Michael Day,The Death of American Virtue: Clinton vs. Starr (Hardcover),"Like a good Faux News reporter, Ken Gormley hides under a facade of facts, but somehow fails after nine years of research to answer the basic questions, like what were Kenneth Starr's motives for going well beyond his charter and sending investigators into Arkansas to dig into Clinton's personal life.  How did Starr allow investigators to wire Linda Tripp in an effort to get to Monica Lewinsky, when Tripp's allegations had nothing to do with Starr's Whitewater investigation, but everything to do with a witch hunt?  Gormley seems to think that by failing to ask the tough questions, he can make it seem like he is not taking sides, but don't be fooled.  Look, if you are a Bill and Hilary Clinton-hater, you will love this book, but if you are looking for the facts and the truth, pass on this one.  Gormley has nothing for you.  Gormley should just crawl back under his rock, and leave publishing to journalists who know the truth when they see it.  This book is nothing more than an extension of the Starr Inquisition into the next decade.  Enough already."
0,4_20_REVNJU2DC5BIQ.txt,5.0,Amazing!!!!,"July 12, 2010",Penelope Clark,RapidLash - Eye Lash and Brow Renewal Serum (Health and Beauty),"This product does work....I have been using it for almost a month and my lashes are so long, they touch my eyebrows....I have also used this on my eyebrows and my brows are much more defined now....This product is amazing....I have ordered my second bottle."
1,50_18_R123TZMYW3ACMP.txt,5.0,Perfect for laying down the LAW!,"September 26, 2008",heliacal rising,Paper Tearing Rulers 12: Deckle Edge (Kitchen),"As a history teacher at a high school full of unruly teenaged cretins, I am a firm believer of corporal punishment.  My classes are full of idiotic punks that would constantly interrupt my compelling lectures.  They'd shoot spitballs at me while I was expounding upon the Japanese Genpei Wars.  They would make rude comments about my weight while I was clarifying the complexities of the German Revolutions of 1848.  They would even post flyers that said ""Mr. Anderson is a fat fairy"" all around the campus.  Enough was enough!
 
 Back when I was wielding an ordinary wooden ruler, I would only get laughed at.  I needed something that was capable of inflicting maximum damage.  Now that I'm swinging this beast, my class has been the perfect example of decorum.  Even the star quarterback of the football team quavers when threatened by this ruler's serrated edges.  Look who's laughing now, slackers!
 
 --UPDATE--
 Unfortunately I have been fired for the use of corporal punishment in my classrooms and am now working at a local Arby's.  I suggest only using this ruler for tearing paper...not students."
0,18_14_R1CKKBD5GCRVPU.txt,5.0,Exactly what I expected,"June 30, 2010",J. S. Dayley,LEATHER MESH GLOVES MOTORCYCLE BIKE GLOVE Black (Apparel),"I really like the reviews that say ""my motorcycle safety class guy said that the best gloves have seams on the outside.""  Guess what?  These are not the best gloves money can buy.  They are cheap and effective.
 Same thing about not being able to pick up a quarter off the ground.  That takes me a couple tries with my bare hands.
 If you want gloves that are by themselves comfortable at all times and in all weather, really durable, maximum protection, dexterity feels better than your bare hands, etc., then you're gonna have to spend $300.00.  (btw, if you own $300 gloves and aren't some kind of professional racer or a retired millionaire out with your wife on a six month Goldwing tour of the US, you're just a sucker.  And if you are one of those two, you're awesome).
 I do apreciate the comments about them running small.  I got one size up from my usual and they're just a little big.  Really they're just perfect b/c I like to put a pair of $1 knit gloves underneath for weather versatility during the day.
 The gloves were a little itchy when I first wore them (without my 2nd pair), but that quickly wore off.  With the gloves under, they're SUPER comfortable.  The grip is perfect.  Also love the big knuckle pads.  I get hit with more rocks to my hands than you would believe.
 All-in-all, for $15 this is a great pair of gloves."
1,22_12_R1VQSBUHBG90R1.txt,1.0,there's got to be a better solution...,"October 24, 2004",songmann,LitterMaid LM900 Mega Self-Cleaning Litter Box (Kitchen),"Mine was quite entertaining when I first purchased it because it came with a unique, added bonus feature.  Every time the rake would get up to the disposal container, it would hang up and then forcefully catapult it's precious cargo across the room.   I would be sitting there watching turd showers as they fell like meteors after being flung from inside my closet.       
 
 The turd launcher, as I've come to refer to it, is now broken and assaults my home no more.   After two purchases of this box over the last few years, I'm once again in the market and looking for a better solution.   The most frustrating thing about the Littermaid model is that it's actually a reasonably good design which suffers only from miserable quality control during the manufacturing process.   For this much money, it should at least come with a turd shield to help you protect yourself."
0,43_12_R2RRI4SIQLS1T4.txt,4.0,A Bit Contradictory,"December 30, 2009",M. Vinson,Super Slim Pomegranate (Health and Beauty),"These pills will definitely help you lose weight, though I think a large component of the weight lost is merely water. Like other reviewers have stated, this product will dehydrate you like nothing else. It does a great job at suppressing your appetite, so when you do eat, you're more likely to ""remember"" to eat something healthy - as opposed to raiding the fridge when you're ravenous. 
 
 These pills have helped me lose weight (I'm not talking a ton of weight, but enough to keep me re-purchasing the product). My only complaint is this: this seller - and many sellers of this product - claim the following: ""PACKAGES WITH SILVER ON BOTH SIDES ARE FAKE! The authentic capsules are are packaged with green foil on one side and silver on the other. Beware of sellers that lie to you about all silver packaging. The fake all silver packaging is not effective, so don't waste your money."" See above item description. 
 
 Uh, anyway -- the item I received had silver on BOTH sides. Does that mean the seller sold me a fake product? If so, why would he/she broadcast that? Who knows. I ordered these pills before from a different seller and the packaging has ALWAYS been silver on both sides. Perhaps this seller can  either 1) remove that verbiage that says the product I purchased from his/her company is FAKE, or 2) clarify whether the packaging has changed since the above claim."
0,51_6_R2GJX1OGGMYSYF.txt,5.0,AWESOME !,"January 25, 2010","S. Bennett ""Cute Fish Bedding""",Baby Jogger City Select Stroller Second Seat Kit (Baby Product),"What a great stroller and seat. This stroller is high quality, so yes, there's a high price tag! But it's worth it. People are constantly complimenting my new stroller. It's a cutting edge stroller and the price tag shows it. I have a 2 month old and a 17m old... it's perfect for us! Thanks Baby Jogger for yet another great product!
 
 Update: 2.5 months later- still LOVING my stroller! I have both seats, and the car seat adapter. Love, love, love it. It's the most expensive baby product we own and it should be- I use it the most. I wanted a stroller that would allow me to bust out of the house with two babies or just one baby if needed... this did it. I don't need two strollers anymore! By the way, our boys are huge and this stroller holds them well. Our 18 month old is 30 pounds and the 3 month old is 16 pounds... still trucks along like nothing!"
0,28_18_R1R49Z425LSE2V.txt,1.0,"Simmering, maybe.","June 30, 2010",Barbara Kay,Sizzling Sixteen (Stephanie Plum) (Hardcover),"Very disappointed.  I have read the entire series, pre-order each book.  Can't wait to sit down and laugh out loud.  Didn't happen this time.  Took me three days to read the book because it was so formulaic, so boring, so unreal, and just not funny.  Unbelievable story-line.  I don't like Vinnie.  I don't understand where Blutto came from, too many unanswered questions.  I think Stephanie needs to get some counseling, she has real issues.  I found two spelling errors in the book which hasn't happened before.  Sorry, Janet, this one just isn't sizzling at all."
0,34_9_R3QCKV6N8B5UZP.txt,5.0,Perfect for Asus Eee PC 1000/Linux,"March 24, 2009","Lawrence H. Bulk ""Lawrence H. Bulk""",Crucial 2GB 256Mx64PC2-5300 CT25664AC667 DDR2 200-Pin SODIMM Laptop Memory (Electronics),"I own the ASUS Eee PC 1000 10-Inch Netbook (1.6 GHz Intel Atom N270 Processor, 1 GB RAM, 40 GB Solid State Drive, 20 GB Eee Storage, Linux, 6 Cell Battery) Pearl White .
 
 About a half-hour ago this Crucial 2GB 667 Mhz CT25664AC667 DDR2 200-Pin SODIMM Laptop Memory  card arrived in the mail. I opened up and removed the small plastic cover on the bottom of my computer, released the clips holding the original supplied 1 GB memory card in place (when you release the clips, the card pops up for easy removal), replaced the original card with this one, replaced the cover, inserted the battery, and turned on the computer.
 
 This new memory card was instantly recognized.
 
 I did NOT have to press the F2 or F10 key. I do not know why some others had to do this (and I do not doubt their experiences) but, immediately after I installed the card and turned on the computer in the normal fashion, I checked the memory available - and there was my 2 GB of RAM showing.
 
 The entire mechanical installation process is quite simple and straightforward. The only tool necessary is a small Phillips-head screwdriver (mine came in a screwdriver set from Dollar Tree!) to remove the screws. Please note that, for the Asus Eee PC 1000 line, there are several YouTube videos which show in detail the whole process which takes no more than two or three minutes. The hardest part? Carefully removing the plastic cover on the back of the computer. The screws remove easily but there are several internal plastic clips on the sides of the cover (not visible) which must be released gently so as not to break them (they do seem robust, however).
 
 Once the cover is removed, actually removing and replacing the memory is simple.
 
 I have used Crucial memory cards in other laptop computers over the years and I have always found them to be completely reliable.
 
 Therefore I highly recommend this memory card, especially for Asus Eee PC 1000 owners."
0,30_11_R3H21593MB4M1S.txt,4.0,Galactrix - New take on an addicting original,"April 9, 2009",A. Rongitsch,Puzzle Quest Galactrix (Video Game),"I really liked PuzzleQuest: Challange of the Warlords on Xbox Live Arcade, so when I got my new DSi, I bought PuzzleQuest: Galactrix to go with the system. It is a lot like the original, except in space. You mine for substances, and upgrade your spaceship, instead of improving your mount. Instead of magic, you have lasers and shields. Although, there are some psychic powers. 
 
 All-in-all the new board with the multiple angles is more challenging, and the 'jump-gate' hacking can get tense because of the time limits. I think this is a good upgrade to a great game, and it will probably chew up a similar amount of my free time as the original."
1,10_18_R30TK050962DZV.txt,1.0,Farce as tragedy,"February 1, 2008",N. Ravitch,The Bush Tragedy (Hardcover),"Journalist Weisberg here cashes in on the current disgust with George W. Bush by trying to make his disastrous presidency into a tragedy, largely through analogies with Henry V, Winston Churchill, and Woodrow Wilson.  Bush nevertheless remains a frat boy who is pushed up into power by the greed and malevolence of the Republican party.  That is the tragedy -- that a great nation could be hoodwinked into voting for someone not even qualified for local dog catcher. As such the story is a terrible farce.
 
 The only real contribution is a good assessment of the much over exaggerated role of Dick Cheney in the formulation of Bush policy.  Cheney remains an evil presence but hardly the power behind the throne.  Bush is stupid but not so stupid as to allow himself to be manipulated.  He above all wanted to exert his own will himself.  His relationship with his father is not at all unusual, except that his father was president.
 
 The book relies on half-baked psychological theories and borrowings from the Freud-Bullitt volume on the peculiar personality of Woodrow Wilson.  It is not particularly convincing or useful.  
 
 As we prepare to elect yet another president we might at least learn to beware."
1,7_17_R2DHVN2CI9HV7Y.txt,5.0,Great DVD With So Many Uses!,"December 18, 2008",Christopher Martin,"Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Season 2 (DVD)","But, why should you buy this T&EASGJS2DVD? Simple. Flexibility!
 
 The DVD can double as:
 Constant Feelings of Inescapable sorrow
 Disenfranchisement from peers and social groups
 Pretending its all ok
 Forgetting to take your medicine
 Driving a car off a slick, iced bridge
 It looks like an accident
 Smoldering metal wreckage
 A solitary smile, finally at peace.
 
 Great for Dads and Grads! Buy it!"
1,18_11_R1SC2TMO8D5VGV.txt,1.0,Do you like Motor Oil in your food?  Then this is for you!,"April 8, 2008",No Mixing,"KitchenAid K45SS Classic 250-Watt 4-1/2-Quart Stand Mixer, White (Kitchen)","I own a KitchenAid mixer - which I loved until Motor Oil started leaking into my food.  Just do a quick internet search on Kitchen Aid leaking oil and you'll get plenty of information - in particular that the company won't do anything about it, other than tell you to use your mixer more often.  Give me a break!!  Everytime I use it, I sit with paper toweling to catch the oil before it gets into the food.  No more Kitchen Aid or Whirlpool products in my house."
0,17_17_RG4BCQ0NJAPP7.txt,5.0,ACTION,"March 18, 2010",Carrie Bonenberger,G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (DVD),"My son and I love this movie.  There is so much action and amazing graphics.  With the quick delivery and low price, this was a best buy for me."
0,276426_1_R38RBETCEFUYZL.txt,5.0,An Excellent GPS device.,"October 23, 2008",Dodongo Dislikes Smoke,Garmin nüvi 765/765T 4.3-Inch Bluetooth Portable GPS Navigator with Traffic (Electronics),"This Nuvi does several things very well, and I've yet to discover any serious shortcomings.  My thoughts:
 
 Navigation: Excellent, as is typical with Garmin units. On a couple of occasions the voice (right now I'm using Australian Karen) told me my destination was on the wrong side of the street.
 
 Map: The map is clear, the refresh rate is fast, and all of the right information is provided on-screen, including details for upcoming turns and junctions, speed limit, and traffic alerts. It's annoying that I can't choose to switch the display of my current speed to some other piece of info. I already have a speedometer. The 3D buildings feature seems pretty gimmicky, and is implemented sporadically, even in downtown Boston. When there is coverage, most buildings are monochromatic blocks, and not the photo-realistic buildings seen in screenshots.
 
 Lane Assist: This feature has been spot-on so far. It's nice driving in a new area and not getting flustered about being in the wrong lane. I have yet to see the full-screen 3D Lane Assist Junction View shown in the many 765t screenshots -- however, I've done very little highway driving, and I believe this screen requires that the user press the top-left (upcoming turn icon).
 
 >>>>>UPDATE: After some highway driving, it turns out that the full-screen 3D Lane Assist Junction View shows up automatically before potentially tricky highway junctions. Very nice.
 
 Traffic: As far as I know, I have not been re-routed because of traffic. However, it's very easy to bring up a list of major roads and their current traffic conditions, and to avoid them at will. The pop-up advertising associated with the ""free"" traffic is pretty subtle, and never distracting.
 
 Bluetooth: I'm impressed with this feature so far. It mated with my phone (old Motorola RAZR V3) easily, importing all of my contacts in the process. The ability to instantly dial any point of interest (e.g., to check on store hours) is brilliant. The volume from the speaker is reasonably loud. I also tried sending the audio to my car stereo using an audio cable, and the output seemed a bit low (I had to turn my car stereo way up). I have not yet tried sending the audio to my car stereo using the FM transmitter. I called my voicemail, and the built-in microphone picks up my voice reasonably well with the engine running. I'm not sure how well it would work with highway speeds. I'm told that the cheap Garmin microphone (which plugs into the cradle, not the unit) improves voice quality.
 
 >>>>>UPDATE: This is true -- the microphone is an improvement, though it adds yet another long cord to your long cord collection. Also, I've tried the FM transmitter. It works, albeit with a certain amount of static. I imagine this feature would intolerable if you are driving a long way.
 
 Other features: I haven't used the SD card slot for anything. I haven't tried the photo viewer or the mp3 player, and I probably won't.
 
 Build Quality: Seems solid. The unit has a certain heft to it, and it's covered in a soft, rubbery coating. I've also dropped it already (because I'm an idiot) -- still working beautifully.
 
 Suggested improvements: Garmin doesn't make it easy to look up the actual coordinates (latitude and longitude) for favorites or points of interest. This information should be available at the press of a button.
 
 Needless to say, I'm pleased with my purchase. The 756t is not cheap right now, and if you can live without the new features, you might be better off with an older unit. That said, if you're looking for a gps device with all of the latest features and compatibility, this seems to be a solid pick."
1,39_6_R2SFL0OZOER4C.txt,1.0,Not worth it,"July 1, 2010",JEA83,Adobe Photoshop CS5 Upgrade (DVD-ROM),"So I downloaded this from adobe, and its horrible. It becomes mission impossible to do a lot of the simplest things I could do in CS4. Plus it would be nice if it didn't crash every other hour. And I'm running off a high performance computer."
1,2_10_R3QR3AC2WXWHIT.txt,4.0,Very good if you need to write on paper,7 Mar 2007,"M. Williams ""Matt Williams""","Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point, Black (Office Product)","Since taking delivery of my pen I have been very happy with the quality of ink deposition on the various types of paper that I have used.  On the first day when I excitedly unwrapped my pen (thanks for the high quality packaging Amazon!) I just couldn't contain my excitement and went around finding things to write on, like the shopping list on the notice board in our kitchen, the Post-it notes next to the phone, and on my favourite lined A4 pad at the side of my desk.
 
 My pen is the transparent type with a blue lid.  I selected this one in preference to the orange type because I like to be able to see how much ink I have left so that I can put in another order before I finally run out.
 
 When the initial excitement of taking delivery of my new pen started to wear off I realised that I shouldn't just write for the fun of it, this should be a serious enterprise, so by the second day of ownership I started to take a little more care of what I wrote.  I used it to sign three letters, and in each case was perfectly happy with the neatness of handwriting that I was able to achieve.
 
 I have a helpful tip for you that you might not know about - if you let the ink dry for a few seconds you can avoid the smudging that sometimes happens if you rub the ink immediately after writing.  Fortunately the ink used in this particular Bic pen seems to dry very quickly.
 
 On the third day of ownership I went on a trip to London and took my pen carefully packed away in my brief case, but I needn't have worried, this isn't some temperamental ink pen that leaks when you store it at the wrong angle. I sat at my meeting and confidently removed the cap from my pen and it wrote flawlessly, almost immediately.
 
 I notice that the barrel of the pen has been crafted very carefully to fit in the pen holder down the edge of my Filofax.  It's not so grippy so that it is hard to remove when I want to make a quick note, and yet not so loose that it falls out too easily when I open my Filofax in a hurry.  Maybe the choice of surface texture on the pen has some part to play here, because it seems that the inside of the leather grip on the pen holder in my Filofax has just the right level of adhesion that I can be confident when I need to reach in and get my pen it's going to be just where I left it!
 
 Today is the fourth day of ownership of my pen, and I have to say I'm starting to treat it like an old friend.  I walk around the office with it clipped in to my shirt pocket and someone in the accounts department actually asked to borrow it while we were both standing at the photocopier.  Would you believe it, they actually tried to walk away with my pen!  They were very embarrassed when I called after them as they walked down the corridor and asked for it back.  You will be happy to know that it is now back, safe and sound in my top pocket, ready and waiting to start writing again.
 
 In summary, I would happily recommend this pen to anyone who is planning on writing on paper.  If you are considering a writing implement for some other surface such as writing on a CD, or other non-porous substances then another pen might be better suited, but if it's just plain old paper then I think you will probably be well served by this particular model."
0,2_19_R3GSTGD9AML4Y1.txt,5.0,Smile = Bright and White!,"April 15, 2010",Apple Pie,"Crest 3D White Whitestrips With Advanced Seal Professional Effects Enamel Safe Dental Whitening Kit, 20-count Carton (Health and Beauty)","To start, I've used whitening strips before.  And they've always worked very well on me.  I never had any sensitivity to any sort of strip, so, I was confident that Crest's newest 3D whitening strips would be fine for me.  And they were!  
 
 After just 3 days of using the strips, I noticed a dramatic difference in the color of my coffee-stained teeth!  I noticed the change in color both in person, as well as in photographs of myself.  After 10 days, my teeth were glowing white - not so white that you'd think they were fake, just a nice, healthy white smile! 
 
 I have nothing but great things to say about Crest's 3D Whitestrips!  The ""advanced seal"" is amazing - no more goopy strips that feel like they are slipping everywhere in your mouth!  These strips are going to be my go-to strips every six months now!  These are fantastic!"
0,42_4_R1A5H77VTWCS20.txt,4.0,Totally Stunning!,"March 6, 2008",Miss Dahl,Cloud Dance (Paperback),This book is really beautiful the scenes are like a gentle lullaby and to boot its educational I recommend all Thomas Lockers books!
1,37_17_RKROYW3CRY9MD.txt,1.0,What Was That Pill?,"July 2, 2008",S. Taylor,Vantage Point (Single-Disc Edition) (DVD),"Is there somewhere I can apply to get the time I spent watching this movie refunded to me? It started out merely predictable, but quickly became unbelievable, and eventually escalated into eye-popping nonsense. If you enjoy this, you should stick with TV movies. In terms of redeeming factors, there are some truly hilarious moments, such as the car chase where Dennis Quaid succeeds in driving one-handed through miles of narrow streets at high speeds while making non-stop cell phone calls and surviving, unscathed, some nasty crashes. Apparently, driving and talking on a cell phone is safer than we've been led to believe. We can only hope our actual Secret Service agents are one tenth as competent (and lucky!) as Quaid. And, we can only hope that someday, our actual President is as worthy of the effort as the mythical one in this story. By the end, I was slack-jawed in amazement at what passes for entertainment these days. I wish this movie had been made by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, or anyone else, with at least one foot in the real world. No such luck... but in the end, one dollop of entertainment was discovered, as I howled my way through the apparently sincere comments by the cast and filmmakers in the special features. If you finish this dog with a straight face, you must be on some of that stuff that Quaid took to steady his nerves... what was it? Maybe I needed some to sit through this movie."
0,39_2_R3BEHD6AXU216.txt,5.0,Good stuff,"July 25, 2009",Nathan M. Kelty,Balla Powder Talc For Men 100 g (Health and Beauty),"This stuff keeps my ""boys"" dry and cool even in the HOT summers in Las Vegas.  I love the scent, it is not too strong but I can still smell it.  I would recommend this product to any guy.  Worth the money!"
0,49_5_RFHF2OUA0SCKE.txt,5.0,This quantum tunneling ethernet cable is incredible!,"June 16, 2008",Mark James,Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable (Electronics),"The Denon AKDL1 cables increase polarized hyperbaric ethernet throughput to over 70 petabytes/second. This cable is the first in a series of nano-molecular para-polarized transparent aluminum cabling, soon to be standard in all Denon audiophile equipment.
 
 Since carefully installing the Denon cables using the provided surgical gloves, my system has stablized in Hilbert space. Apparently the Denon AKDL1 performs polarized nanoscale quantum tunneling by using a custom transparent aluminum cable matrix to push parameterized vorgon particles through a dark fibre phase variant Heisenberg compensator. How they accomplish this for only $500, I don't know."
0,22_4_RNA8MOL2JH9FJ.txt,5.0,Great player,"March 9, 2010","sanela ""sis31""",Samsung BD-C6500 1080p Blu-ray Disc Player (Electronics),"I have this player for over 2 weeks now. I got it at hhgreg the first day they got it. So far: AWESOME.
 
 Blu-Ray: Very fast loading time. Picture and sound are awesome. 
 
 DVD: I had very good upscale player before this one and this one is much better.
 
 Wireless Network Connection: Literally it took 60 seconds to set everything up.
 I just had to click ""next"" few times.
 I have Motorola Wireles g modem (Comcast). Only asked me first time for WEP. 
 Never again.  
 
 Sharing files with your computer: I am a mac user and i got it to work with the Eyeconnect media server. 
 If you are PC user you can download Allshare from Samsung for free.
 
 Netflix looks great. No hiccups and HD quality is AWESOME.
 Pandora to. 
 Blockbuster is there but I haven;t tried it yet. To be honest i don't think i will ever try it.
 They just updated the apps section with the VUDU app. When you open it there is a message that it will go live in March(what is pretty soon). 
 Youtube and Picasa are pretty cool to. 
 
 There are few games in the apps section that are pretty basic. 
 
 LOVE the player. I think it is a much more than just a blu-ray player. 
 I think most of the complains in the reviews are user or equipment(old router) errors to be honest.
 
 There is only one thing that kind of annoys me. From the description of the player on the Samsung website, amazon etc, 
 i got the idea that there is a lot more apps in the Samsung Apps store/section(facebook, twitter, google maps etc). 
 None of them are there (yet). Even in the manual they used google maps as an example. Maybe they will add this stuff with the time."
0,30_8_R69I7USOHH57W.txt,5.0,Review for Non-Gamers,"September 27, 2007",Greeper,Halo 3 (Video Game),"I'm not a gamer, just a regular 30something who wants an easy way to take out my frustrations.  This review is probably most helpful to middle aged men like me, not hardcore gamers.  
 
 I have tried many other games but Halo is the only one that doesn't tax me too much with choices and complicated controller requirements.  I give the Halo franchise 5 stars because it is so simple, one mission, kill everything in sight.  You don't need to investigate, open your pouch, choose between a million weapons, read maps, or think for even a second. It's the only game I've found which I can stand for more than 5 minutes and which is completely uncomplicated. And you can skip the story and all that nonsense by just hitting the main button.  
 
 As compared to other Halos:  I'm not crazy about the weaponry.  The needlers run out of ammo and the other guns don't do much. You also need to press a button to reload some weapons, it seems, whereas before they would reload if you walked over the same kind of weapon.  THere are 3 kinds of grenades, which is unnecessary and just harder to switch between.  You can also only carry 2 of each instead of 4.  Since the new grenades stick like the plasmas, they don't add much and just add another layer of choice and button-pushing.  Too complicated.  Also, the little bonus things like flares and landmines are gimmicky and add too much comlpication.  Again, advanced gamers probably love it, but I'm too old to learn all this new stuff.  Just give me a gun and some grenades.  
 
 In previous games you'd come across more types of things to do, like a lot of sniper rifles so you could sit on a hilltop picking off aliens or use other strategy.  In this game you don't find a lot of useful weapons, so there's a lot more direct hand to hand, on the ground type combat.  I've also found that it's easier to kill things and easier in general to solve the levels.  Also, it uses the ""follow me"" arrow and the voice gives you suggestions if you seem to be missing the point, which I like, since in previous Halos I've spent hours wandering around wondering what I'm supposed to be doing.  No such problems here.  They've sufficiently dumbed it down.  
 
 I've had a few graphic glitches in this one, which has never happened before.  I've also gotten stuck and unable to get out of things twice.  THe sound and graphics are great, of course. I've never paid any attention to the story, unless it required me to, so I can't comment on that.  Kusdos to Bungie for making it easy to skip over.  
 
 Overall, this is the same experience as the others, though it seems easier than Halo2.  As little thought as that required, this one requires less. I've not had to think at all about weapon choice, strategy, or anything,  Just pull the trigger and kill!  I wish there were more FPS games like this -- fast-paced, completely intuitive hand controls, easy storyline, simple mission, and FUN."
0,28_11_R17MORN6LHRZQZ.txt,5.0,Excellent Buy,"November 8, 2009","KR ""Tall Guy""",BlackBerry Storm2 9550 Phone (Verizon Wireless) (Wireless Phone),"I bought this phone on the day it came out and I have to say that I am not disappointed at all.  If you like a pull-out/physical keyboard, then this phone is not for you.  But if you like the touchscreen, this is an amazing phone.  I find the new sure-press screen very comfortable to type on, and the phone's capabilities are terrific.  I've already synced my iTunes music to the phone and no longer carry around an iPod.
 The network speed when using the Internet is great, but of course that's because Verizon has a solid network."
1,43_15_R2YUYL4MJRASKV.txt,1.0,Nothing New,"May 16, 2003","""mauredes""",Hell to Pay: The Unfolding Story of Hillary Rodham Clinton (Hardcover),More contemptable garbage from the likes of another extreme Conservative.  The majority of the book doesn't even contain facts.  It reads more like a trashy magazine with the same amount of false allegations that themselves amount to nothing.  Perhaps a revised copy of the book should be released and retitled:  Hell to Pay:  The Same Old Right-Wing Story of SENATOR Hillary Rodham Clinton.
1,41_6_R2UTR08RZ5IKF8.txt,5.0,Just the Thing to Wear to Sizzler or The Fair,"May 28, 2009",Tammie Jo,Graceful White Wolves T-Shirt 100% Cotton Short Sleeve YOUTH and TEENS and ADULT shirts (Apparel),"When Big Bobby Ray told me there was a foxy lady's version of that legendary 3 Wolves shirt I just had to get one for myself. Look out Bobby Raye there's a new Loca Lobo in town. My hands trembled when I opened the package and I couldn't get over that lovely Trailer Lavendar color and the almost air-brushed quality of the wolves. I cranked up the Kid Rock, put on my best cut-offs (you know the kind, that ride up just enough in the front and back) gave the bleach blond hair a fresh squirt of Aquanet (roots be darned) and told that Bobby Ray we were loading up in the Trans Am and to let that coon tail fly. These lady wolves really unleash my womanly power, no woman at Wal-mart, the tanning salon, the county fair, the beer joint, or the Nascar race will look hotter. Ok, Verna Sue, we'll see who gets promoted at the feed store now! Especially when I tie the shirt just so and let a little of the jelly hang out- must be jelly cause jam don't shake like that. Just look at those wolves...no one can resist the ""come here big boy"" look of that she-wolf. Can't wait for this Friday night when Bobby and I wear our matching wolf redneck couture line and go down to the Bingo hall and then when we get home...if the trailer's rockin' don't bother knockin. All thanks to this graceful wolf finery- get yours cause I got mine."
0,14_6_R8TYKE8ZJYFEF.txt,3.0,More Street Jazz!,"March 2, 2005",Alan Attebery,Breakin' 2 - Electric Boogaloo (DVD),"When we last saw Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo, they were starring in a Broadway show called ""Street Jazz.""
 
 Fast forward an amount of time (we are never told how much time has passed) and we find that our trio has parted ways. Kelly is now an in-demand Broadway star and Ozone and Turbo are back home volunteering at their community recreation center. Once again, Kelly tires of her life and heads back to the street to see Ozone and Turbo. Eventually, the three of them put together a dance show they hope will save the community center from being demolished to make room for a new shopping center.
 
 ""Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo"" was released just 7 months after the first movie. Unfortunately, that short time span shows in this sequel.
 
 Like the original ""Breakin'"" movie, ""Electric Boogaloo"" is full of 80s style dancing, mainly break dancing as well as poppin' and lockin'. And also like the original, this movie shines brightest when the focus is on the dancing.
 
 Unfortunately for the movie, and for us, the plot line was expanded this time around. The writing has an awkward feel to it. Every time the dancing pulls you into the movie, the lines that are uttered pull you right back out. In addition, the increased plot highlights the acting inexperience of the stars.
 
 If I was to base the rating for Breakin' 2 only on the plot, writing, and acting, it would only receive one-star. However, once again the dancing is the main star of the show. And if I was to base the rating only on the dancing, it would receive five-stars (it's really that good). So a good compromise is in order here, hence the three-star rating."
0,41_6_R3DTVMPV8NAR14.txt,5.0,The more feminine wolf shirts,"June 7, 2010",Yire Morlans,Graceful White Wolves T-Shirt 100% Cotton Short Sleeve YOUTH and TEENS and ADULT shirts (Apparel),"For a better fit, I ordered a ""youth Large"" because I have a small figure and didn't want a loose fit. The wolves on the t-shirt fade into the background a lot more than it shows in the picture. It creates a subtle effect, which I like."
1,14_19_R5T3W7IEROLS6.txt,1.0,"Design flaw, poor instructions","July 17, 2010",Matthew Barchok,"Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz (Misc.)","This product has a serious design flaw.  When I removed this product from its container, it did not stand on its own as I expected.  Instead, it spread out onto the ground, then appeared to disappear into it.  For the price I paid, I would have expected this product to have a lot more substance.  Someone told me that I needed a glass, but this is not listed in the instructions.  Also, there are no clear instructions on how to open the container.  I tried everything from cotton balls to a can opener, to no avail.  Eventually I was able to open it by burning a hole in it with a curling iron.  I was afraid to use a knife, since I didn't want to damage the product inside.  Clearly, Tuscan needs to re-think this product.
 
 **Edit**  It seems that I would have had to let this sit at room temperature for several days in order for it to stand on its own.  Again, terrible instructions.  I would also appreciate a product that was ready to use."
1,23_16_R3V2F6XTTPFGSJ.txt,1.0,"This actually works, and can ruin your life!","February 6, 2010",Mark Twain,Ouija Board Glow-in-the-Dark (Toy),"I just recently got this product, and so I sat down to use it and asked it ""who am I speaking with"".  Slowly the key moved to spell out ""Billy Mays Here"".  Immediately after that there was a burst of cold air, and now he won't leave my house.  He throws away all of the products I own that he didn't endorse, for example, all of my paper towels.  I have to clean all my messes with Zorbeez, as he will not allow me to keep anything else.  Its not all bad, I came home on my birthday and he had gotten me a Big City Slider Station, which actually works pretty good."
0,9_5_R3JQNBITXXN2D.txt,5.0,A must read book,"March 16, 2010",Thomas,The Scent of Rain and Lightning: A Novel (Hardcover),"The Scent of Rain and Lightning by Nancy Pickard was the best novel I've read in a long time. The first couple of pages grabbed me--there was no reading half the book before I decided I liked it.  Pickard writes in an easy style about people and life in Kansas, but it could be any rural/ranching setting.  The characters were described so perfectly that I felt like I grew up with them.  This is a murder mystery, but it's definitely not your typical who-done-it.  The plot unfolds gently--no harsh, sharp twists and turns.  It's also a love story and a story of a close-knit family.  It has everything but nothing is contrived; it's all very natural and believable.  I think the best way to describe the book is that it's a gentle, easy story about some ungentle events. I can understand why Pickard has received so many awards. She is a great American author; in my opinion on the same level as Twain and Steinbeck. This book is a MUST READ."
1,51_8_R1PLYO2Z4XNNUL.txt,5.0,Transcending. Compositional genius.,"October 19, 2005",MTV rocks,Speak (Audio CD),"Anyone whos truly knows muzak knows that Lindsay Lohan is one of the most talented young musakians in the world today. She has proved that many times. She also proved that she is one of the best guitarists every in the contempary cinema classic Freaky Friday. Have posers like Al Di Meola had their own movies where they document their so-called ""great"" guitar playing?? No. Do you know why? Because they suck. The Muzak on this album is some of the best ever. Lohan along with Avril Lavigne are the two best guitar players in the world. They are better than those ""classical"" posers who don't look cool at all. The drumming shows wannabees like Peart and Bruford how it should be done. The bass shows self-proclaimed bass ""masters"" like Stu Hamm that crappy ""inversions"" (I don't know what that means) and lame techniques like ""tapping"", ""counterpoint"" and ""slap and pop"" (I have no idea what these mean either) are just crap that losers with no talent do.
 
 If you do not like this then you have bad taste."
0,25_5_RNKLM8UM29592.txt,5.0,Good condition good price,"April 27, 2010","Robert A. Hans ""wyzardd""",Morgan Design - 1 oz .999+ Fine Silver Bar,"Received quick and in good condition. Reasonable price for low quantity orders. Obviously anyone can watch the price of silver and know if they're getting a good deal or not.
 
 I'll order again for my 1 or 2 qty bar or coin purchases."
0,22_11_R3HIU1DFVMF9PC.txt,5.0,Kids Favorite!,"June 30, 2008",T. Black,"Skippy Peanut Butter, Creamy, 16.3-Ounce Jars (Pack of 6) (Grocery)",Skippy Creamy is the best tasting of all the peanut butters on the market.  My kids love Skippy Creamy!
1,16_1_RIU4P618YCDYU.txt,1.0,Much ado about nothing,"August 20, 2009","E. Ambrose ""Fellshot""",Twilight (Two-Disc Special Edition) (DVD),"The only people on earth who are allowed to sparkle are as follows...
 
 1) Drag Queens. A Drag Queen who does not emit sparkly fabulousness from the core of their being is a very sad thing and should be given a hug.
 
 2) David Bowie. Need I say more?
 
 Someone needs to explain the why's and wherefore's of this whole ""sparkly vampire"" business to me. I really don't understand it at all. Going out in daylight... OK, Dracula could do it if he were well fed, so why not? But sparkles?
 
 Anyway on to the meat of this review... (which will likely get thoroughly ignored as there seems to be so much hype over this flick)
 
 As far as I can tell, Twilight has no plot. At all. There aren't any conflicts until the last 20 minutes or so. There isn't any drama. This is a vampire movie with no conflict among the main characters, only teen angst and Bella and Edward mooning over each other. The dialog between Edward and Bella would be better if it were done with semaphore flags. Thank goodness I had rifftrax going during those awkward silences. The really sad part is that neither of them really seems to have any real reason to angst over their boring lives. Nothing's really keeping them apart. The few glimpses of indistinguishable backup high schoolers didn't have anyone telling Bella what a horrible person she was and no one went to torment ""the new girl."" 
 
 Anything that could be remotely called interesting would have been centered around Bella's sheriff dad and the ""maulings"" (read: vampire attacks) he's investigating. But the script instead goes to focus on Bella and Edward's wangsting.
 
 Anyone who thinks of Bella as a Mary Sue, I agree. This is perhaps the worst case of published marysueitis I have ever run across. Everyone likes her. She always gets her way. People drop everything to save her even if they have utterly no interest to do so. To make things worse, I found her to be a horrible character in general. There's one scene where one of the indistinguishable backup high schoolers is asking her out to the prom and she isn't paying the poor bit character the slightest whit of attention, preferring to gaze longingly at Edward in the distance. I'm sorry, but that's just rude and under most circumstances would probably make someone a bit miffed. I don't care if the poor guy is a bit character, I'd rather a small look at any of the their small dramas, because I could at least see that they had things going on in their lives from the tiny glimpses shown in the film.
 
 Speaking of small bit characters, the best one is some poor construction or engineering guy in a hard hat who finds himself hunted by the ""OMG bad vampires."" I'll give the redshirt credit, the shadowplay on the screen says that he gave them a fight and with an iota more depth, he would have fought them off. :) Go redshirt, go! I'm told that scene was not in the books. It makes me lose all desire to ever read them.
 
 As seems to be the trend for this movie, the villains aren't developed at all. They are clearly ""OMG EVOL!!!1!!"" because they act like, well, normal vampires and because they see Bella as an interesting snack. Were they given more depth or a motive at all, I probably would have started to root for them. As it was, I was bored silly.
 
 Aesthetically speaking, the film wasn't terrible, although I could have done with less cool toned lighting. Kirsten Stewart is a pale deadpan enough without the camera making it even more obvious. Also, the soundtrack has a rather pretty piano piece in the middle, supposedly composed by Robert Pattinson. I hope he manages to get himself fired from the sequels before his entire career goes down the drain. He played a good Cedric in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 
 
 I wouldn't recommend Twilight to anyone. No amount of pretty camera work or tiny scene additions could save this movie from a script that would have been better used as toilet paper."